What attitude to adopt in the face of a shortage of Tinder matches?

It was expected as much as the return of the Ninja Turtles to the Cinema, here is the third opus of the Tinder Trilogy: A blockbuster of which Steeve is both scriptwriter and actor. Life is a cactus. She sometimes hurts us by refusing us simple pleasures. As a Tinder match:


In recent times, Steeve has shown a lot of self-sacrifice in sending out the likes, a job that has always resulted in the fulfillment of the duty … the impression of having done well and that The ball was no longer in its camp. ”  Alea Jacta Est  ” as Julius Caesar would have said this great Roman seducer. Yet, despite somewhat crazy hopes, this promise of an upcoming happiness split from a no-return on like. Soon, it became the shortage of match in the mouth of Steeve . Far from giving way to panic, the sociologist, rational mind, Wondered what was the right attitude to adopt? Should we question everything? His metaphysical researches resulted in the elaboration of a fundamental rule and a multi-stage therapy to get out of the doldrums :


I) Step 1: Check that this match shortage is not linked to a vulgar and any technical bug of the application

Optimistic, Steeve went to the forums. He posted a comment on TinderHelp and got the answers from Tinder user members:

Steeve Bourdieu: “Hello everyone. Steeve signed up on Tinder 3 weeks ago and he really sanded the app by sending gusts of likes to a thousand female women. But for the moment still no match 🙁? Is anyone in the same case and can testify?Steeve sincerely thinks this is a technical problem with the application. Here is his profile picture for info. Thank you. “

Brunodu8-6 : “Hi Steeve! You know, Tinder is not real life. Believe me, these dating sites are only the foul remnant of a consumer society that swears only by appearance and beauty. Do not worry, I’m sure you have other qualities. Courage. “

… Fucked!

Bilbolehobb said theComté : “Hi Steeve! I understood that Android was bugging the system of matches. But no bug on the Iphone. You should switch to the Iphone! “

Steeve already has an Iphone: ‘(

Filthygranny69 : “Hi Steeve. Maybe you should think about changing the profile picture. Do not you have any photos of you who are not kicking underwear? ” 

BGsofreshfashionGucci : “Hi Steeve. I catch a dozen likes a day for my part, without too much force. Good continuation. “

Pfff Mytho!

Yolodu94 ; “Hi Steeve. You know how often I say: Yolo! I hope this philosophy of life can help you solve your problem. “

After this precious help, Steeve did not go down and checked the Twitter account of Tinder hoping to see a statement of style: ”  Unfortunately, a technical issue has caused your Tinder matches to be delayed. Steeve Bourdieu’s profile has been indexed. Do not worry, all your new matches should be available again tonight. Sorry for the inconvenience “But in fact, despite the incredible nature of the situation (Steeve = 0 games), Tinder worked perfectly …


II) Stage 2: To prove that the shortage of matches is mathematically plausible even for a beautiful kid

Steeve subsequently built a model of reflection that would allow him to maintain a handsome status, despite a zero point in Tinder matches. His model assumes consistency from 4 irreproachable postulates and 3-4 hypotheses in good and due form:


Hypothesis 1 :  40% of young people are on Tinder (conservative hypothesis). How To Fix No Matches On Tinder

Hypothesis 2 : For a guy, it takes on average a hundred likes to catch a match  (score fluctuates between 30 likes and + infinity depending on the person) . A single like is enough for a girl without beard. 2 likes otherwise.

Hypothesis 3 : It takes about 50 games for a guy to get his shot (ratio that fluctuates between 1 and + infinity) . Only one match is enough for a girl without a beard. 2 games if not.

Why ? Among the girls who liked by mistaking themselves, those who match but whose social generosity refuses to go as far as engaging in a conversation and those who eventually turn out to be men (see Karen Gonçalves in  The Tinder2 Survey ) … mine Nothing, it’s not a lot of occaz to get out his zigounette!

Screenshot 2014-05-08 to 18.39.59

So if we make quick calculations of consultants in seductive strategy:

There are 10 million people in the Ile de France. Approximately 1 million of 18-30 year olds if the population is equitably distributed by age group. 400 000 active members on Tinder (see: Hypothesis 1) we can even separate into 250,000 boys and 150,000 girls (Why such a male / female ratio => Cf: Postulate 1 and 3. The Postulate Postulate 4 n ‘Does not matter here.).

Imagine Steeve, inveterate, who sends a like to 1 pretty girl in flower.

In fact, if Steeve sent 1000 likes and did not have matches, it’s for the simple reason that he did not have chances. He had less than a 2% chance of never appearing on the profile of one of the 1000 liked girls and that’s what happened! Phew, actually Brad Pitt can end up with zero games on Tinder! Steeve got hot lol🙂

Editor’s note : Here, Steeve has quietly nailer the “Tinder Box” #consultingsociologue #BCGMcKinseyRolandBurgerMcdonalds.

Editor’s note : Steeve could have put forward other arguments to support the model as the geolocation or the age range …  Ex : It is possible that between the time Steeve sent the like and the moment when this pretty kitten s’ Is reconnected, she has decided to move to another city. Same, this one could also be positioned on a niche like niche “cougar” or even “heiress” which would lead him to want to chop only keums (35+) that are able to make it dream in the ” Sending two days in a row to Disneyland Paris by posting the premium suite at the Davy Crockett Ranch!


IV) Step 3: Lastly, ask for an outside consultation (woman if possible) on your profile

Finally, after having scientifically proved that his physique was not for nothing in this sad history of shortage of matches , Steeve appealed to someone of confidence. His mother was not available, Steeve asked a girl with whom he had never had a seductive record of checking his profile: his sister. This allowed Steeve to take a fresh look at this lack of Tinder matches. After all, maybe she’s right: maybe Steeve just misinterpreted Tinder. Perhaps a picture of Steeve in kangaroo briefs taken in front of the ice is not the best way to glean like. Maybe his photo showing him sneakily but lovingly polishing his best sleeping buddy is not what the female audience of Tinder is waiting for . So Steeve changed his profile picture. There it should send the match to gogo lol!




The Last Word of Steeve:

As described in the basic rule, it is certainly not appropriate to challenge your physique in full match shortage. To indulge in the little socially suicidal reflection ”  Well, after all, maybe I am just cheum to die  ” will not help. And if Tinder it does not work, there’s always adopteunmec . Or – if you are fake with photogeny – you can always try a girl’s direct approach. Formerly, we were doing this apparently. So yes, following this ploy, Steeve will no longer receive delicious messages ”  congratulations you got a new match  ” on his smartphone. But is not the smile of a pretty girl the most beautiful of notifications? (Red card for Steeve!



“We’re up all night to get lucky.”  Difficult to say if it will suffice gentlemen daft punk.

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